


a nice view

by meowrails



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Height Differences, M/M, Penis In Vagina Sex, Trans Male Character, gross old men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 12:51:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13951926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowrails/pseuds/meowrails
Summary: "We’re too old and have died way too many times, is it cool if we just fuck?"





	a nice view

**Author's Note:**

> hello! here's a very indulgent johnchurch fic where they uhhhh fuck. 
> 
> merle is a trans man in this and i use the word cunt/clit a couple of times so if that makes you dysphoric please don't read!
> 
> leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed it :)

After an exhausting yet enjoyable weekend at their father’s estate, Merle returned from escorting Mavis and Mookie to the town’s teleportation circle, where they would go back to their mother’s house. The dwarf seemed tired -- John doesn’t blame him, he’s been hard at work organizing his next retreat with his youth group, the name of which he  _ refuses _ to say aloud. The stress of having a hyperactive child and a step-daughter who still doesn’t trust his new... roommate must be incredibly demanding. 

John tried his best to help with the two. He was not fond of children in his past life, but Mavis was incredibly mature and smart for her age and spoke to him about philosophy -- basic stuff, but much more than most humanoids would bother to learn in their lifetime. He tolerated Mookie and tried to make an effort to play with the young dwarf, eventually giving up not ten minutes later. Merle laughed at him, seemingly taking no offense, and told John not to worry about trying too hard as he knew Mookie could be a handful. Merle told him not to worry about many things, not to try too hard. It was frustrating, the cleric did not seem to grasp that John’s entire existence in this peaceful new world was out of a holy penance he had to prove. Or maybe he did, John wasn’t entirely sure. He at least was sure that being kind to kids was at least a baby step. But it was one thing to be kind to them and another to look forward to their weekend stay at dad’s. 

As he heard the creak of the door, he crushed what was left of his cigarette into his makeshift ashtray, the old part of him tempted to eat the ashes and the new part of him knowing it was best to throw them away. He did neither, leaving the ashtray in the middle of the dining room table. At least Merle would know he didn’t smoke near any of his plants. There were not many rooms in the estate that were not adorned by endless flora. It was very different from the house he had a long, long time ago. If his own taste was minimalistic and subtle, Merle’s was anything but. The man was everything John had taught himself to hate for so long and yet he couldn’t help but stare at him from across the room, realizing they were alone together once more and offered him a seat next to him.

Not across from him, thought, that would probably bring back some bad memories.

Merle took up the offer and rested his head against the wooden table dramatically, his wooden hand seemingly ‘melting’ into the rest of the table, either replenishing itself or growing into it -- John had no idea, his knowledge on plants was minimal at best no matter how much Merle had tried to teach him.

“Tired already? The sun’s still up.” John quipped.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a long weekend. Looking forward to nice nap I’m gonna take out in the hammock later.”

“I will never understand how you prefer to sleep in that instead of your bed. It’s not at all comfortable.” 

“And I’ll never understand how you were brought back to life and still wanna kill yourself slowly with those things.” He gestures at the ashtray. “So it looks like we’re even.”

John averts his gaze from looking at Merle, suddenly feeling a bit guilty. “I’m sorry. Just... an old habit.”

The room fell silent again, a tinge of awkwardness filling the room as the seconds passed. 

Merle spoke up this time, a grin on his face that John knew well enough to know it was him trying to lessen any sort of tension. “So, you think you can handle another weekend with my two bundles of joy?”

“I think I can handle them. They’re nice kids.”

The cleric perked up. “Really? Great! Means I can leave you to babysit while I do some other shit.” 

John shot him a look, unsure whether or not the man was lying. Merle responded with a hearty laugh. “Just kidding, you did good. Pretty sure Mavis likes ya. And Mookie will grow out of it, I was just like him when I was younger.”

“Really? Shocking, when you’re the pinnacle of order and manners now that you’re all grown up.” John teased. Merle offered a soft  _ shut up _ that had no bite to it until they were back to silence, thought much more comfortable this time around. 

Well, comfortable on one side. John couldn’t help but allow his gaze to wander down to the half-unbuttoned god awful flower-print shirt Merle was wearing, as if anyone else needed more of a hint about what sort of domain he followed with his dreaded, long pink hair adored by flowers and wayward leaves, long bear equally adorned by the same tropical flora and moss, and his sun-kissed skin. John couldn’t contrast the man more even if he tried -- the local dwarven tailor managed to make him new suits at his measurements, three-pieced and all. Thought now, John had undressed down to his button down shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows, and his trousers. The humidity was too much for his usual attire, even for the sake of fanciness. Not that Merle gave a shit.

The cleric caught his fixed gaze and John looked at the table, pretending to find it more interesting than Merle’s face, as he had many times before a long, long, long time ago. 

But their shared moments back when John was not  _ just  _ John were shared for short periods of time in a meeting room beyond time and space. Not exactly date material with what the fact that John would break his neck or engulf the man in flames afterwards. Except now they live in the same home. John has nowhere else to go, not to mention that most people would probably not be happy to see the man who became the Hunger again, so he spends most of his day in the strange, chaotic home of his dwarf companion, confined to the same space for far, far longer than a parley. John is not good at subtlety, he also hasn’t had a  _ crush _ on another living being since... well, he doesn’t know when. And Merle is not as naive as he seems.

Yet the way the cleric responds still manages to catch him off-guard, despite the cheesiness.

“Find something you like?” Merle asks with a smirk.

John clears his throat, not used to being embarrassed. “I was looking at the expanse of the table. Fantasy Homegoods? It’s nice.” He lied, rather badly and he knew it. It was... much preferable to actually talking about his pining.

“Magnus made it for me.” The cleric said with a soft, fond smile. The sort that practically  _ forced _ John to openly stare. “Doesn’t seem like your sort of thing. Thought you’d be more the Fantasy Ikea kinda guy.”

“Ah, well, I am learning to enjoy more... cozy, nature filled environments. They offer a nice... view.” John said, trailing off slightly as he saw the the same shit-eating grin appear in Merle’s face once more. 

“Do you now?” Merle leans in closer.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t offered that one in a silver platter for the man to tease him about. John allowed the corner of his lips to curve a bit, resting his head on his palm. “It’s a  _ very  _ nice view but it can be a bit unkempt sometimes. And smelly.”

Merle gave his usual offended  _ hey! _ as John chuckled against the palm of his hand. “Nice job being subtle, smartass. I was just about to flirt back.” 

“Don’t worry, the smell isn’t bad. You always smell like flowers, or sometimes salt-water.” And honeydew. And coconuts. And dozens of other fruits or wildlife that John did not know the name off but had committed to memory, just in case, but Merle didn’t need to know that. “You can still flirt with me if you like.”

Merle huffed. “No I don’t want to anymore.”

“Pretty please?” John quipped.

“Well... All I was going to say was -- and not to get too serious or anything -- but seeing you talking to Mavis and playing a bit with Mookie during the weekend, even if you didn’t have to was... well, it felt nice looking at you like that. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect you to become babysitter of the year or anything but...” Merle fell quiet for a moment, staring at the damn table that suddenly was the only anchor stopping them from looking at each other properly. “Forget it, it’s dumb.”

John grew increasingly worried; a very human emotion he was still getting used to and will probably never learn to enjoy. 

“Merle... you told me once that we were friends.” John paused, trying to choose his words carefully. “Are we... more than that?”

“I’m pretty sure we’re at some weird grey area right now. Some ‘will they, won’t they’ shit.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Well... will we?”

“...Do you want to?” Merle asked, the two of them finally looking at each other. 

John smiled, genuine smile this time. No curve of a lip, no smirk or cocky grin. Just an honest smile, the sort he only ever saved for Merle, the sort that still felt odd in his face and that he could count the times he’d done on one hand. “Yes, I think I would like that very much.”

“Good!” Merle laughed in relief. “‘cause I’m too old to actually spend time on dancing around subjects like these anymore. Cuttin’ straight to the chase, I like that.”

“I think that we’ve been on enough dates to justify our relationship.” John shrugged.

“What? The parleys? If those were our first dates then that was kinda shitty. Mostly for the whole killing me part, but also ‘cause playing chess on a date is fun one time, not all sixty times.”

“I think our parleys would have gone a bit awry if we have tried to play table hockey or table tennis.” 

Merle frowned, deep in thought, then snapped his fingers in realization. “Oh! Parley beer pong! I would have definitely kicked your ass there.”

“I don’t doubt it.” 

Now that the cat was out if the bag, do to speak, John allowed his eyes to trail back to the open, exposed skin of Merle’s chest while the dwarf continued to think about other table game they could have played instead of chess during their parleys. John was a gentleman, of course, but he still hand impulses, interests... things he hungered for. 

It took the two of them a total of twenty seconds before they broke their silence that felt comfortable and resolute at the time but turned into something far, far more heated.

“Y’know, I was thinking... if the parleys are considered dates, you think we could jump to the good stuff without any sort of unnecessary courtship or flirting and shit?” Merle asked. 

John blinked. “You mean... sex, right?”

“If you want that sort of thing. I know I fuckin’ do but, uh, yeah.” The cleric gives an awkward laugh and John swears he sees the flowers in Merle’s beard turn slightly more red -- the man’s skin is too tan to actually show any blushing. “We’re too old and have died way too many times, is it cool if we just fuck?”

Merle was right -- an odd occurrence that John was still getting used to experiencing -- which was why his lips were against Merle’s instead of giving an answer. In retrospect, it was a clear way of saying  _ yes,  _ and Merle answered back by leaning into the kiss and grabbing John by the lapels of your his shirt. John was still getting used to interactions of this sort and hadn’t kissed another human in over a hundred years, but he knew that was a definite  _ yes _ .

Merle kissed like they had all the time in the world. John kissed like he was dying. Eventually, they found a middle ground. 

They settled hastily until Merle was laying on his back on the wooden table and John hovered over him, hands on either side of Merle’s face because he had no idea what to do with them. The cleric, however, had his prosthetic arm pulling John’s closer, while the other was unbuttoning John’s shirt and hooking a finger on the edge of his pants without any sort of shame. John had to stop to catch his breath and take in the sight beneath him, and it was probably the most gorgeous sight he’d taken in a very long time.

It seemed that the smaller man had gone quite some time without making out with another person as well, but Merle did not seem a remotely nervous as John felt. Quite the opposite, in fact. Merle smiled up at him, eyes half-lidded in a way John didn’t know how to describe. It made him feel odd inside, like horny but softer -- he was still getting used to having emotions once more, he’ll ask Merle about it later.

“You can undress me too, if you want to.” Merle said, voice gruff and low as John realized he’d been staring. He obliged, slender hands moving to undo the cleric’s floral-print shirt until he could trace a hand over scattered scars. “That’s it.” 

“Merle, I--” John began and stopped just as he started speaking, trailing off. He kissed Merle again for good measure, softer this time, then looked over the cleric’s body. The man just barely reached his hip, there was something oddly tantalizing in that. 

Merle propped himself up on his elbows. “Let me guess, you haven’t done this in a while?” 

“You could say that.”

“You’re lucky that I’m super horny and have very low standards.”

John sighed. “That’s... comforting, I suppose?”

“You want a first pointer?” The cleric spoke as he started to unbuckle John’s pants. It was hard to say no when a man was feeling up his clothed and hardening cock, to be honest.

“S-Sure.”

“We can’t fuck on the table. I’m too old for that shit.” 

“I can carry you upstairs.”

“Ha! I can just use dimension door, John.”

John raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to waste a fourth level spell because you’re too old and horny to walk up the stairs?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

The dimensional door appeared right beneath them, causing the pair to fall into the comfortable bed, with John resting on top of Merle with his pants around his ankles and his briefs tightly holding his already fully hard cock in place as it pressed between Merle’s legs. John gritted his teeth and gave an experimental thrust, a groan escaping his lips.

The cleric was having none of it, as he patted John on the shoulder for him to get off. John groaned but obliged. “Sit up against the headboard,” Said Merle, looking at the other flushed, debauched looking man.

John did as told, allowing Merle to take control here, and watched as Merle sat on his legs, his back to John’s chest. He wished he could see Merle’s face properly, but he could see press kisses to Merle’s sun-kissed shoulders and the back of his neck. “Why this position?”

John almost wishes he hadn’t asked, because Merle answered with: “I can imagine I’m sitting on your lap in one of those ugly work chairs, in the parley room while you fuck me.” 

The human practically growled, slipping a hand under his pants to the warm, slick heat of between Merle’s thighs. He heard a groan and couldn’t help but slip a finger inside the cleric’s cunt, his other hand holding him in place. 

“ _ Pan _ , John. That’s good.”

John allowed himself to smile, basking in the ego boost was was having the love of his life writhe against him at his touch. 

Merle gasped. “Hold on there, Johnny, let me take my clothes off first.” 

John grabbed Merle’s hand before he could move any further. “No! I... Let me, please.”

The cleric stopped for a second and nodded, moving his hands away. John couldn’t help but give the man beneath him a reassuring kiss on his cheek before helping Merle out of his shirt, which Merle threw to the side carelessly, then slowly lowering his pants. No underwear, which didn’t surprise John in the slightest. It made his cheeks turn a very noticeable pink, according to Merle, and his throat go dry, staring at the wet slick between Merle’s legs.

Merle didn’t bother waiting John to get a move on and told John to take off his underwear as well. In a daze, John scrambled to undress himself fully, his cock now completely hard and resting against Merle’s folds. John shuddered at the heat of it, using all of his will power not to grab Merle down by his hair and fuck him into the mattress. He settled for a shallow thrust, then another, forcing a sound out of both of them -- John gasped, Merle chuckled. 

“You ever fantasized about this?” Asked Merle as casually as if they were talking over coffee. “‘Cause I sure as hell did.”

“Y-Yes. Gods, yes. Merle-- What did you think about?”

“Mostly about how much fun we could have had if you hadn’t been such a dick.”

“Not a great thing to say with my actual dick right up on you, dear.” John made a point by pressing two fingers on Merle’s clit and moving in a slow circle. Merle’s hand immediately went to grab at John’s arm, digging his nails into his skin. 

“ _ Fuck.  _ And how the whole black ooze stuff was... kinda hot. Thought a lot about that too.” Merle rambled, hips hitching up slightly at the touch.

The human smirked, resting a kiss on Merle’s shoulder. “I’m sure there’s a spell for that.” His hands trailed back to Merle’s hair, his dreads still held back by a hastily done bun, releasing it so it fell over Merle’s shoulders. It looked... nice. 

John finally managed to compose himself, sitting up to look down at the other man, his cock still resting against Merle’s hole, the head of his cock grazing against the entrance. “How do you.. want to do this?”

Losing his own snarky composure, Merle cleared his throat, his eyes trailing between his legs. “Uh -- I’m up for anything at the moment.”

“It’s been a while for me.” John said through gritted teeth. “And I don’t want to hurt you somehow. I’m not--”

Without much thought, Merle reached over to grab the base of John’s cock and helped the man slowly push into him, hitching up his hips until he could sink down on John’s cock, at least up until the head of his dick was inside him and Merle found himself sighing in relief. It  _ had _ been too long, and by  _ Pan _ was he wet, dripping on John’s thighs and enough to make the man look down and speak in a smug voice. “Impatient?”

Merle felt his ears almost burn from how much he must be blushing. Partly because, yeah, he was being impatient, but mostly because John was taking his sweet ass time. The cleric looked back at John and the human leaned down for a kiss. “Just shut up and fuck me.”

John took a deep breath before moving further into Merle’s cunt, burying himself deep inside the man and moving in slow, shallow thrusts, getting used to a sensation he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in far too long -- warmth, arousal, and the most animalistic form of  _ want _ . He wanted Merle so badly and there he was, gasping against him, hopefully feeling the same. 

“ _ John _ ,” He said in a low, urgent voice.

At the silent plead, John moved faster now, noticing that Merle was in the perfect position to simply ride him and use his cock as he pleased, but the man prefered to rest on his chest and lazily complain. Rather endearing, really, he didn’t expect Merle to be such a pillow princess when getting fucked. 

“Do you want more?” John began teasing. “Maybe I could add a finger or two and  _ really _ fill you up. Use a spell slot and keep this up for  _ hours _ until even Pan can see how much of a mess you’ve become.” 

Merle’s hands flew to either of John’s thighs, gripping them as he tried to keep himself from making a sound. John couldn’t see his face but he could hear the muffled, gruff moans sealed off by tightly sealed lips. He could feel the way Merle clenched around him the faster John moved, but it was never enough for either of them. John had never been this hard before in his life, or any past life. “Oh  _ gods _ , John -- shit. ”

John’s free hand, the one that wasn’t holding Merle by his neck -- gently now, just to keep him in place near his heart -- had slipped down between Merle’s folds to tease at the man’s aching, hard clit, rubbing circles against it in time with his thrusts. “Such blasphemy, Merle. From a cleric, no less.” 

“Shut up,” Merle groaned. 

“We should have done this sooner, you feel  _ divine,  _ Merle.” His squeezed the side of Merle’s neck, not enough to cut hinder the air flow but just enough for him to feel it. John knows exactly how much he’d have to squeeze if he wanted to choke Merle. The cleric let out a sound akin to a whimper, one that made John chuckle. 

Merle hissed and, for a brief second, he could feel the man move into his cock as if asking for more, even if he knew Merle was never going to beg vocally. “Keep going,” he demanded.

John raised his hand to tilt Merle’s face to look at him, pressing a kiss against the other man’s lips. “How far do you want me to go?”

“All the fucking way.”

The human growled, remembering the days where he was one with a higher form of existence, eager to devour everything in his path, yet nothing could sate his hunger as well as Merle did. With a tender, warning kiss to the top of his head, John pushed Merle down onto the mattress by his neck, moving deeper and rougher than before. The sight of Merle beneath him -- his hands grabbing at the sheets, his wooden arm digging into anything it could find -- it was enough to push him past the edge.

But it wasn’t that, it was the sounds Merle was making. No longer in the illusion that he could keep quiet, Merle let out muffled groans with every movement of John’s hips, his face buried into a pillow. So careless and loud, uncaring if anyone were to come into the estate and heard them. John leaned down and whispered into his ear. “Say my name.”

“Y-You get off on people sayin’ your name?” Merle asked between catching his breath. 

“Not on people. On you. Only you Merle.” He stopped, his cock twitching and begging for friction inside of Merle. “ _ Please _ .”

He whispered out the last word in a low voice that made Merle clench around him. “ _ J-John.  _ John...” The cleric said, as if testing the word on his tongue. No epithet, no  _ ‘Johnny boy’ _ \-- just his name repeated over and over like a prayer that Merle wouldn’t even revere Pan with. “Oh fuck,  _ John _ ...”

That was all John needed before he finished inside Merle, nails digging into the skin of the man’s hips as he did so. He let out an low moan before moving Merle’s hair out of the side to kiss him shoulders and the curve of his neck, enjoying the fact that Merle was still trembling beneath him, at his mercy.

“You haven’t made me cum, you old bastard.” Merle groaned, flipping over until his back was against the mattress. John kissed him again, a hand resting over Merle’s abdomen. He could outstretched his fingers and touch the expanse of it -- the man was so small next to him. His thoughts were stopped by Merle biting his lip mid kiss, wriggling at his touch. 

“I ain’t gonna beg, if that’s what you want.” Merle said.

John lowered his hand back between Merle’s legs and slipped two fingers into his cunt, just as wet as it was at the start of this, with ease. “You don’t need to.”  

Merle responded with a gasp and closed his eyes, covering them with his arm while John enjoyed the view that was presented in front of him, all for him. He watched his cum mix with the slick that kept escaping between Merle’s thighs the faster his hands moved, his thumb moving against Merle’s clit until the man reached completion.

The cleric came with a choked cry with John’s fingers still inside of him. Yet another stroke for John’s ego, as he knew he was the only man alive right now who could make Merle this debauched and trembling. Well, perhaps Davenport, but that’s beside the point now.

John absentmindedly licked his fingers clean while Merle held himself up by his elbows, still looking like he was in a daze.

“You’re not... you’re not gonna want another round or anything right?”

John was not left with the stamina apt for a regular human his age, but John was not a regular human. He could go on for the rest of the day, really, but he knew Merle was done for the time being. He offered Merle a kind smile. “I have been thoroughly sated for the time being. And it seems that so have you.”

Merle fell silent for a moment. “You a cuddler?”

“Can’t say I’ve had much experience in that department.”

John managed to at least understand  _ that _ social cue and pulled Merle in for a back hug, until he found himself under the covers and spooning the other man when it wasn’t even night time yet. Were these the  _ ‘ _ little everyday delights’ that Merle was trying to teach him how to enjoy? If so, he could get used to this.

Merle absentmindedly played with one of his dreads, curling it around his finger. “You almost choked me there, by the way.”

John tensed. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Did you not like that?”

“No, no -- it was pretty hot, just warn a guy next time.” Merle laughed. “Or at least do it properly and go all the way.”

“And what about... the spell for the black tentacles. Would you still like to try that?” John asked.

“Hell yeah, I’m sure Taako knows the spell, though I doubt he’ll give it to us if he knows what we’ll use it for.” 

John gently ran his fingers through Merle’s hair without noticing what he was doing. “Keep talking like that and we might have to go for a round two.”

“Pan, no. I’m beat. You’re gonna have to jerk off by yourself if you get horny again, baby.”

Beside him, John turned beet red, not knowing how to react at  _ that _ specific word.

Merle laughs, any sort of cocky composure being drained from John’s body and replaced by utter embarrassment. 

“You’re into being called  _ baby _ !?”

John groaned.


End file.
